The Great American Bash: Preview

So tonight's supershow will the first Great American Bash I've seen in 13 years (I didn't get WCW on TV when the Bash was revived in 1995, and I didn't want to pay to see it last year on Sky Box Office). Will it live up to the 1992 extravaganza? I don't know; that one had Jushin 'Thunder' Liger on it, so it'll be hard to beat! Let's have a run-down of the card:

Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Misterio This feud just hasn't grabbed me at all. Oh I was interested months ago, back when they were building up for the WrestleMania match (which was a damp squib). And I was taken in by Eddie's heel turn a few months ago, even though it took far too long. But since then it's been pretty uninspired, and this silly 'secret' rubbish is just a tiresome tease. That kind of thing was done a decade ago in ECW, and it was done better then too. This match better be something really special if it's to hold my attention. Prediction: Misterio wins again, and we learn nothing of the 'secret'.

Booker T vs Christian This feud just kinda came out of nowhere, and there's no real motivation to it other than the 'new turk muscling in on someone else's territory' thing. And Christian's squashing of him last week almost killed any potential for an even-handed battle. But they're both great wrestlers, so if this is booked right it could be the match of the night. Prediction: hard to tell how they'll swing it, but I say Christian, with a little cheating.

Animal and Heidenreich vs WWE Tag Team Champions NMN However nice it would be to see the faces lift the titles, there's no way they'll take the belts off NMN. Then again, maybe they will, and trade them back on the next SmackDown!... Prediction: MNM cheat to win, but I won't be surprised if the opposite happens and the angle continues.

United States Champion Orlando Jordan vs Chris Benoit This match has absolutely no heat behind it. Zero build-up, and they haven't cut any promos about each other. The only reason this match could possibly exist is to put the title on Benoit. In fact, if they don't I'll be mighty pissed off, since Orlando 'Virgil with hair' Jordan is far worse than Virgil ever was. Prediction: Benoit wins the gold, makes the fan boys happy.

Melina vs Torrie Wilson I wish I could fast-forward real life so I don't have to witness this abomination. Please Trish Stratus, come back!! We need you!! Prediction: I don't care.

The Mexicools vs The Blue World Order The definition of filler, and you just know the bookers will give it less then ten minutes. But it could be fast-paced and entertaining enough to keep me awake. Prediction: The Mexicools will cheat to win. Because that's what Mexicans do, right? They cheat! Because they're Mexicans! Right? Dear God, someone please send the WWE to a race relations counselor.

The Undertaker vs Muhammad Hassan This is supposed to be a #1 contender's match, and Hassan was supposed to go over so he could face Batista at SummerSlam, but after all the controversy we all know that Hassan is going bye-bye after tonight, so it's pretty obvious what'll happen. Punch kick punch kick, Hassan gets upper hand for five minutes, Taker does the 'dead man' schtick and rallies back, rope walk, clothesline, punch kick, tombstone, one two three. Prediction: Undertaker wins, messes up the bookers' plans for the rest of the summer.

JBL vs World Champion Batista The WWE would be clinically insane to take the belt off Batista tonight. He's slowly but surely getting over with the fans, and I'll be watching this one with interest just to see if he can pull off a worthwhile contest with someone who has no intentions of carrying him. Prediction: Batista to retain the title, of course, but JBL might make things hard for him.

I'll post a quick review of the show tomorrow, and see if any of my predictions will ring true.