The Great American Bash: Review

Overall, The Great American Bash didn't live up to the hype for me. However, excluding ECW One Night Stand, I've come to expect that from most WWE shows over the last few years; SummerSlam will probably be more of the same. Anyway, here are my notes from the card as it was in progress:

Animal and Heidenreich def. WWE Tag Team Champions MNM So my prediction was wrong, but I did say I wouldn't be surprised if the belts changed hands. MNM will get them back soon, probably at the next SmackDown!.

Booker T def. Christian Not a bad match; Booker T finished it with an impressive scissorkick from the second rope. I can see a better rematch in their future.

United States Champion Orlando Jordan def. Chris Benoit I don't understand this one at all. It doesn't make any booking sense. Jordan doesn't deserve the title; he's a boring wrestler with a limited moveset consisting of punches, kicks and armbars. Benoit totally carried the match - and the fans knew it, giving him an appreciative send-off. But he should have been given the title as well.

The Undertaker def. Muhammad Hassan Hassan was brought to the ring on a sedan carried by five terrorists - sorry, sympathisers. They're really milking this for all it's worth, aren't they? But enough about that. It was a boring match, as to be expected, though Hassan sold his beating well. Afterwards, the superhuman Undertaker single-handedly fought off Hassan, Daivari and the five goons, then lifted a panel off the entrance stage floor to powerbomb Hassan through the hole (giving the technicians just enough time to remove the safety padding before pointing the camera down there after him). Oooh, I'm shocked.

The Mexicools def. The Blue World Order First of all, I want one of those big-wheeled tricycles the bWo pedalled to the ring on! They're fucking sweet! As for the match, I was right about the time - the bookers gave it less than five minutes. Good, but could have been so much better. By the way, that Mike Bucci guy is in a pretty cushy situation, getting to play both a face and a heel at the same time. When was the last time that happened?

Rey Misterio def. Eddie Guerrero Rey Rey brought his son to ringside for the match. They should have sat him with Tazz and Cole so he could do commentary: "Daddy! Noooooo!" Heh heh... You know I had the weirdest feeling watching this, that Rey's son was going to interfere in the match, cost the victory for his dad and leave with Eddie, both of them laughing and grinning... But I'm glad that didn't happen, and my prediction was correct: Rey Rey won again, and we learned nothing of the stupid 'secret'.

Melina def. Torrie Wilson They all got stripped to their underwear anyway, so it doesn't really matter who won, does it? Why this crap was so high up on the card is beyond me.

JBL def. World Champion Batista An overlong, '80s-style big man match; they even threw in the ol' 'referee gets knocked out' routine. Batista was disqualified when the referee just happened to wake up while he was whacking JBL with a chair - but he retained the title, as predicted.

It was a pretty disappointing show all in all, one that teased a lot but delivered little. I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Maybe when SummerSlam rolls around the creative team will write a cheque that the show can cash.