SmackDown! Notes 19.08.05

- There's nothing like a ten-minute Eddie Guerrero promo dragging out the wretchd custody angle even further to lick off a show, is there?

- SmackDown! was in Toronto, Canada (aka Bizarro-world) this week, at the Air Canada Centre. I was there - well, I saw the building from the outside, about 100 yards away across some grassy knolls from the CN Tower. It doesn't look so big from the outside, even though it seats about 20,000. But then again, the fucking-massive SkyDome (excuse me, I should say Rogers Centre, shouldn't I?) is right next door, so it's a matter of perspective.

- Oh joy. Sharmell taking on Melina in a mixed tag match? They're really working to keep me tuned in this week. At least Booker T looks like he's having fun, getting to work with his wife in a job that he loves...

- Maybe I spoke too soon: setting up a dissention in the ranks angle, are they?

- Seriously, if Chris Benoit doesn't win the US title at SummerSlam, I will give up on SmackDown! forever.

- Heidenreich finally got his spikes!

- According to Animal, Heidenreich has heart like Hawk had heart. Oh, Hawk had heart all right - he died of an enlarged one! ZING! Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week.

- Funaki really is the Number One Announcer. But I hope he's making a ton of money, 'cause otherwise there's no excuse for him not to be wrestling for a much higher-quality Japanese league.

- Can the money be worth it, though, considering he's getting stuck in squash matches with the despicably racist JBL? Maybe he's a masochist...

- Did you notice Batista whacked JBL with the metal frame when he gave him that chair shot? That had to hurt! Serves the redneck prick right.

- Hold the phone! SmackDown! in good match shocker! It was a short one, sure, but Rey Misterio v Simon Dean was actually worth watching for a match with nothing to it angle-wise. (They are ECW alumni, which probably explains it.)

- Christian filled the house with his peeps - we are in Bizarro-world, after all. But did they have to punk him out on his own show?

- I fast-forwarded right through the Benoit/Orton match without even noticing, so I rewound the tape and played it through again, and I saw why - resthold after resthold after resthold. Sure, the crowd might have been into it, but only because Benoit was there. Even on fast-forward it bored me senseless.

- Of course Orton had to go over, because his SummerSlam match with The Undertaker has much higher profile than Benoit's title shot. And at least they tried to build some heat for the latter by having Orlando Jordon interfere. Seems more like a booker's idea than a writers...

Overall, a real let down of a show that did fuck-all to build up for SummerSlam with any real conviction. It's clear that Raw has all the big matches for tonight's event. SmackDown! is just an afterthought.