SmackDown! Notes 12.08.05

- Booker T opened the show with a match so unmemorable that I had to rewind the tape to the beginning to check if he was on it.

- Christian's guest on the Peep Show was Batista, who exemplifies my rule that no WWE wrestler shoud be seen wearing anything other than their wrestling gear.

- Heidenreich's got the face paint; all he needs now is a set of shoulder pads with spikes on them. And a cool animal name. Like 'Giraffe'. Or 'Startled Deer'. Okay, maybe he can skip the name part.

- Teddy Long put the returning Randy Orton in a match against someone from the Undertaker's past. Who could it be? I ran though a list in my head... Superfly... The Berserker... Giant Gonzales... Dusty Rhodes... the fake Undertaker... the spirits of Terry Gordy and Yokozuna... but no, it turned out to be Kamala. Who now seems like a parody of himself, if that makes any sense. Lots of belly-slapping ensued, as you can imagine. The only exciting moment was when Kim Chee lost his hat. Some kid in the crowd got real lucky with that one.

- The Rey Rey/Guerrero saga drags on. Now Rey has challenged Eddie to a match at SummerSlam where the winner gets sole custody of Dominik. Oh that's really gonna make your son happy, Rey, really. Excuse me while I wash the bad taste from my mouth.

- William Regal wants so little to do with the Mexicools that he'll even turn heel on Scotty 2 Hotty just to get away from them!

- It's more and more obvious that the writers and bookers are clueless when it comes to Chris Benoit. They don't have the skill or the wherewithall to play up his strengths to hide his weaknesses. The solution is pretty simple, and I'm sure Paul Heyman would agree: give him the US title, put some lustre back on the belt, and make his matches (against pretty much anyone) worth watching. But alas, it seems the WWE is no place for wrestlers anymore...

- Christian got his thanks-for-not-causing-a-stink match with Batista at the end of the show. Pity, though, that it was just a set-up for Batista's feud with JBL. Poor Christian. He could have a great feud with Benoit, but he's stuck taking backdrop after backdrop from the 'Animal'. Alas...