Raw Notes 02.08.05

I'm back! With another running commentary - from yours truly! For the full experience, this is best read while watching the show (but for health and safety reasons, I highly advice against that):

- At the top of the show, Jericho rambled on about John Cena. Cena did a run in, of course, and they slapped each other's ears in that silly way as wrestlers do. Eric Bischoff squealed about something or other, then made Jericho the special referee for Cena's title defense against Carlito. Deja vu? Or uninsipred booking? You decide.

- I love it when JR says Chris Masters is "a great wrestler" because it's so obvious he can't stand the guy.

- Shelton Benjamin's been relegated to teaming with The Big Show? Please JR, you gotta help the kid! (Even if he did go and get his feel caught on the ropes again - seriously, Shelton, practice!)

- There's a dichotomy arising here: JR and the KIng have been putting Benjamin over wildly, but the booking team seem determined to bury him. I wonder what Shelton himself feels about it; I know his friend Charlie Haas doesn't have the kindest words to say about the writers (in the latest issue of Power Slam, he calls Dave Lagana a "jerk" and "a mark for himself").

- Despite myself, I like Eugene. And it was smart to book Christy as his cheerleader.

- What do you bet Eugene will be the first to be sacrificed to the Boogeyman when he finally debuts?

- Tatanka's lost a little weight since the last time I saw him, about three years ago at IWW's debut show. But who am I kidding? He's still pretty fat. He could rival Animal in the belly stakes! Time to hit the gym, Chavis!

- I noticed Vince McMahon didn't do that stupid-ass strut to the ring. I had a feeling it couldn't be good for his health.

- Vince's big announcement? Matt Hardy is back - officially, this time! Ooh, big surprise. Let's hope they keep him around for a while, and give him a chance to prove himself.

- But keep him away from the mic, please. He needs more promo work than Chris Benoit. Although that remark about wishing Adam Copeland dead in a car crash was a nice touch. He's not bitter at all, that Hardy fella.

- I was disappointed, though, that he didn't shoot on Johnny Ace like he's been doing for the past few weeks. I guess now that Johnny's his boss again he has to keep his trap shut. Shame.

- JR's disdain for 'Kerwin White' echoes my own. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

- Jerry Lawler: "You can always tell when JR doesn't like somebody. He always says 'they're a tremendous athlete'." Bingo!

- More commentary goodness:
Coach: "You do know what rhymes with 'venis', don't you?"
JR: (silence)
Coach: "Meanness."
JR: "Meanness?"
Coach (to King): "That wasn't what JR was thinking."

- No wonder JR hates the guy.

- I have to say, Shawn Michaels does a pretty good impression of Hulk Hogan, brother.

- Actually, now that I think about it, it's more like Superstar Billy Graham.

- Nice to see John Cena getting the chutzpah slapped out of him by Jericho and Carlito at the end. Didn't really count as a match, though.