Raw Notes 26.07.05

- Eugene's back, and he took Kurk Angle's gold medal, too. I have a sinking feeling this'll be the highlight of the show...

- Viscera and a midget took on the Heartthrobs and another midget. Has Vince McMahon gone insane??

- Jim Ross introduced a tribute video to the late Lord Alfred Hayes. If only they'd made it longer and cut out that bloody midget match...

- All I'll say is: bring back Max Mini.

- Next up is the 'battle of the bands', which was a complete waste of time as Fozzy didn't even perform. But I should be used to the WWE reneging on their promises by now.

- Slowly but surely, Holy Joe Shawn Michaels is morphing back into Asshole Shawn Michaels circa 1993. That can only be a good thing.

- Did you hear the cheers for Carlito? He's getting over, I'm telling you. But only as a heel. If they ever turn him face...

- Why did they book Chris Masters to squash Shelton Benjamin? Is this some sort of punishment for Benjamin's risk-taking? If it is, it sure is funny seeing as they never had any problems with it before. Benjamin is one of the brightest stars they have, and jobbing him out to a talentless lump of muscle like Masters makes about as much sense as putting Orlando Jordan over Chris Benoit.

- Surely the whole point of the Diva Search 'Hot Dog Eating Contest' was that the women were supposed to act slutty doing it? (I mean, hot dogs? They're long and pink and they're putting them in their mouths! Har har.) But they didn't. They just ate them. So what was the point? Any why am I even writing about this?

- It's Edge versus Kane again, this time in a stretcher match. They've been feuding for a few weeks now, but it isn't really working. You just know that no one gives a crap about the match - they're just waiting for Matt Hardy to do a run-in. They could be wrestling the match of the year, or shooting at each other with guns - but every fan in the building would have one eye on the crowd, or the stage, on the lookout for a Hardy appearance.

- And by the way, isn't it odd that the commentary team haven't even acknowledged Hardy's presence at the last few shows. He's done three run-in spots by now, and not a peep. The first time, fair enough. The second, maybe. But three times and no word? That's just preposterous.

- They're really pushing it now, and trying my patience. But hey, it was funny to hear Edge drop the f-bomb.

- Jericho got the upper hand over John Cena at the end of the night. And Carlito got himself a title shot. Not that he needs it, since he's already IC Champ, but still its nice to see his push continue.

- Was that it? Jesus, have the writers gone on holiday? Honestly, I've never written for a wrestling show, but I've watched enough over the last fifteen years to know I could write far better crap than this.