SmackDown! Notes 29.07.05

SmackDown! was really bad this week, so I won't have much to say:

- Teddy Long and JBL yammered on for ages about nothing.

- Chris Benoit and Booker T beat Christian and Orlando Jordan in a long, drawn-out match that should have been far more interesting than it actually was.

- You know who would have made a great tag team at one point? Booker T and Kurt Angle. There's something about those two that would have made them a great combo. Ain't gonna happen now, though.

- Animal and Heidenreich squashed Chris Hamrick and some other guy. Wasn't Hamrick a big time heel in the dying days of ECW? My, how the mighty have fallen...

- MNM now have a 'fixer'. And how's this for a gimmick: she's got a funny growth on her face, like that nurse in South Park with the stillborn foetus on the side of her head in. Har-de-har-har. That's probably all I'll ever have to say about her.

- Eddie finally told the secret - not that it was a secret, because anyone with two brain cells to rub together could have seen it coming. But what I want to know is: why didn't they reveal it at the pay-per-view? I mean, they did sell the show on the premise that the secret might be revealed, so why did they cheat it out of the fans then, and then give the secret away for free four days later? That's the kind of booking that made WCW collapse on itself.

- Did you notice how convenient is was that there was an empty chair propped against the barrier so Rey's son could use it as a step up to get into the crowd and run away? God this whole angle is so fucking lame!

- Showing the Lord Alfred Hayes tribute video again isn't going to make up for this terrible show, you know.

- William Regal has an 'English' entrance theme once more. Also, the Mexicools again interrupted one of his matches. Why do I notice these things? Oh god I'm losing the will to live.

- In the main event, JBL and the Undertaker tumbled around the ring for half an hour in an interminable, yawn-inducing match. I was so bored I didn't even notice Randy Orton do a run-in at the end. Blah.

And so to bed.

Vince Upset, And Other News

411 Wrestling reports that Vince McMahon "was not happy with the Great American Bash PPV last night and was visably (sic) upset about it backstage." I have to ask, if he was really so upset about it, then why was last night's Raw so bad?

In other news, Inside Pulse has some interesting behind-the-scenes details on the Edge/Lita/Hardy angle, as well as this little tid-bit about Lita apparently shooting on Hardy when he interrupted her recent Byte This! interview. I really don't know what to believe about this any more; best to let the bookers weave their little webs and wait for something more interesting to develop.

Raw Notes 26.07.05

- Eugene's back, and he took Kurk Angle's gold medal, too. I have a sinking feeling this'll be the highlight of the show...

- Viscera and a midget took on the Heartthrobs and another midget. Has Vince McMahon gone insane??

- Jim Ross introduced a tribute video to the late Lord Alfred Hayes. If only they'd made it longer and cut out that bloody midget match...

- All I'll say is: bring back Max Mini.

- Next up is the 'battle of the bands', which was a complete waste of time as Fozzy didn't even perform. But I should be used to the WWE reneging on their promises by now.

- Slowly but surely, Holy Joe Shawn Michaels is morphing back into Asshole Shawn Michaels circa 1993. That can only be a good thing.

- Did you hear the cheers for Carlito? He's getting over, I'm telling you. But only as a heel. If they ever turn him face...

- Why did they book Chris Masters to squash Shelton Benjamin? Is this some sort of punishment for Benjamin's risk-taking? If it is, it sure is funny seeing as they never had any problems with it before. Benjamin is one of the brightest stars they have, and jobbing him out to a talentless lump of muscle like Masters makes about as much sense as putting Orlando Jordan over Chris Benoit.

- Surely the whole point of the Diva Search 'Hot Dog Eating Contest' was that the women were supposed to act slutty doing it? (I mean, hot dogs? They're long and pink and they're putting them in their mouths! Har har.) But they didn't. They just ate them. So what was the point? Any why am I even writing about this?

- It's Edge versus Kane again, this time in a stretcher match. They've been feuding for a few weeks now, but it isn't really working. You just know that no one gives a crap about the match - they're just waiting for Matt Hardy to do a run-in. They could be wrestling the match of the year, or shooting at each other with guns - but every fan in the building would have one eye on the crowd, or the stage, on the lookout for a Hardy appearance.

- And by the way, isn't it odd that the commentary team haven't even acknowledged Hardy's presence at the last few shows. He's done three run-in spots by now, and not a peep. The first time, fair enough. The second, maybe. But three times and no word? That's just preposterous.

- They're really pushing it now, and trying my patience. But hey, it was funny to hear Edge drop the f-bomb.

- Jericho got the upper hand over John Cena at the end of the night. And Carlito got himself a title shot. Not that he needs it, since he's already IC Champ, but still its nice to see his push continue.

- Was that it? Jesus, have the writers gone on holiday? Honestly, I've never written for a wrestling show, but I've watched enough over the last fifteen years to know I could write far better crap than this.

More Thoughts on the '05 Bash

The Wrestling Blog has a good discussion going about last night's card. Most seem to feel the same way as me.

The more I think about it, it's clear the matches were no step above the weekly TV fare; I guess that's the price we pay for getting a supercard once a month.

Remember when a major show used to mean something? Hell, I still remember when they only ran four pay-per-views a year! The anticipation was a big part of it too; they would build up these events for weeks beforehand. Not any more.

The Great American Bash: Review

Overall, The Great American Bash didn't live up to the hype for me. However, excluding ECW One Night Stand, I've come to expect that from most WWE shows over the last few years; SummerSlam will probably be more of the same. Anyway, here are my notes from the card as it was in progress:

Animal and Heidenreich def. WWE Tag Team Champions MNM So my prediction was wrong, but I did say I wouldn't be surprised if the belts changed hands. MNM will get them back soon, probably at the next SmackDown!.

Booker T def. Christian Not a bad match; Booker T finished it with an impressive scissorkick from the second rope. I can see a better rematch in their future.

United States Champion Orlando Jordan def. Chris Benoit I don't understand this one at all. It doesn't make any booking sense. Jordan doesn't deserve the title; he's a boring wrestler with a limited moveset consisting of punches, kicks and armbars. Benoit totally carried the match - and the fans knew it, giving him an appreciative send-off. But he should have been given the title as well.

The Undertaker def. Muhammad Hassan Hassan was brought to the ring on a sedan carried by five terrorists - sorry, sympathisers. They're really milking this for all it's worth, aren't they? But enough about that. It was a boring match, as to be expected, though Hassan sold his beating well. Afterwards, the superhuman Undertaker single-handedly fought off Hassan, Daivari and the five goons, then lifted a panel off the entrance stage floor to powerbomb Hassan through the hole (giving the technicians just enough time to remove the safety padding before pointing the camera down there after him). Oooh, I'm shocked.

The Mexicools def. The Blue World Order First of all, I want one of those big-wheeled tricycles the bWo pedalled to the ring on! They're fucking sweet! As for the match, I was right about the time - the bookers gave it less than five minutes. Good, but could have been so much better. By the way, that Mike Bucci guy is in a pretty cushy situation, getting to play both a face and a heel at the same time. When was the last time that happened?

Rey Misterio def. Eddie Guerrero Rey Rey brought his son to ringside for the match. They should have sat him with Tazz and Cole so he could do commentary: "Daddy! Noooooo!" Heh heh... You know I had the weirdest feeling watching this, that Rey's son was going to interfere in the match, cost the victory for his dad and leave with Eddie, both of them laughing and grinning... But I'm glad that didn't happen, and my prediction was correct: Rey Rey won again, and we learned nothing of the stupid 'secret'.

Melina def. Torrie Wilson They all got stripped to their underwear anyway, so it doesn't really matter who won, does it? Why this crap was so high up on the card is beyond me.

JBL def. World Champion Batista An overlong, '80s-style big man match; they even threw in the ol' 'referee gets knocked out' routine. Batista was disqualified when the referee just happened to wake up while he was whacking JBL with a chair - but he retained the title, as predicted.

It was a pretty disappointing show all in all, one that teased a lot but delivered little. I'm glad I didn't pay for it. Maybe when SummerSlam rolls around the creative team will write a cheque that the show can cash.

The Great American Bash: Preview

So tonight's supershow will the first Great American Bash I've seen in 13 years (I didn't get WCW on TV when the Bash was revived in 1995, and I didn't want to pay to see it last year on Sky Box Office). Will it live up to the 1992 extravaganza? I don't know; that one had Jushin 'Thunder' Liger on it, so it'll be hard to beat! Let's have a run-down of the card:

Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Misterio This feud just hasn't grabbed me at all. Oh I was interested months ago, back when they were building up for the WrestleMania match (which was a damp squib). And I was taken in by Eddie's heel turn a few months ago, even though it took far too long. But since then it's been pretty uninspired, and this silly 'secret' rubbish is just a tiresome tease. That kind of thing was done a decade ago in ECW, and it was done better then too. This match better be something really special if it's to hold my attention. Prediction: Misterio wins again, and we learn nothing of the 'secret'.

Booker T vs Christian This feud just kinda came out of nowhere, and there's no real motivation to it other than the 'new turk muscling in on someone else's territory' thing. And Christian's squashing of him last week almost killed any potential for an even-handed battle. But they're both great wrestlers, so if this is booked right it could be the match of the night. Prediction: hard to tell how they'll swing it, but I say Christian, with a little cheating.

Animal and Heidenreich vs WWE Tag Team Champions NMN However nice it would be to see the faces lift the titles, there's no way they'll take the belts off NMN. Then again, maybe they will, and trade them back on the next SmackDown!... Prediction: MNM cheat to win, but I won't be surprised if the opposite happens and the angle continues.

United States Champion Orlando Jordan vs Chris Benoit This match has absolutely no heat behind it. Zero build-up, and they haven't cut any promos about each other. The only reason this match could possibly exist is to put the title on Benoit. In fact, if they don't I'll be mighty pissed off, since Orlando 'Virgil with hair' Jordan is far worse than Virgil ever was. Prediction: Benoit wins the gold, makes the fan boys happy.

Melina vs Torrie Wilson I wish I could fast-forward real life so I don't have to witness this abomination. Please Trish Stratus, come back!! We need you!! Prediction: I don't care.

The Mexicools vs The Blue World Order The definition of filler, and you just know the bookers will give it less then ten minutes. But it could be fast-paced and entertaining enough to keep me awake. Prediction: The Mexicools will cheat to win. Because that's what Mexicans do, right? They cheat! Because they're Mexicans! Right? Dear God, someone please send the WWE to a race relations counselor.

The Undertaker vs Muhammad Hassan This is supposed to be a #1 contender's match, and Hassan was supposed to go over so he could face Batista at SummerSlam, but after all the controversy we all know that Hassan is going bye-bye after tonight, so it's pretty obvious what'll happen. Punch kick punch kick, Hassan gets upper hand for five minutes, Taker does the 'dead man' schtick and rallies back, rope walk, clothesline, punch kick, tombstone, one two three. Prediction: Undertaker wins, messes up the bookers' plans for the rest of the summer.

JBL vs World Champion Batista The WWE would be clinically insane to take the belt off Batista tonight. He's slowly but surely getting over with the fans, and I'll be watching this one with interest just to see if he can pull off a worthwhile contest with someone who has no intentions of carrying him. Prediction: Batista to retain the title, of course, but JBL might make things hard for him.

I'll post a quick review of the show tomorrow, and see if any of my predictions will ring true.

Muhammad Hassan is Dead

That is, the character of Muhammad Hassan is being killed off by the WWE after tonight's Great American Bash.

The controversy surrounding the character has been plastered all over the mainstream media in the States in the weeks since the London bombings, when the WWE unwisely added a mock terrorist element to Hassan's angle with the Undertaker. The news stories are all pretty much like this AP newswire piece, which contains some hilarious quotes from WWE spokesman Gary Davis - like this one, on the distinctly terrorist looking henchmen, dressed in paramilitary fashion, who attacked the Undertaker on Hassan's behalf:

Some people drew the conclusion these people were terrorists even though they were not terrorists.

Yeah, sure. Or how about this howler, on the motivations for creating Hassan in the first place:

The whole point of the story line and this character was to point out the injustices Arab-Americans have suffered since 9-11.

But of course! And exploiting anti-Arab xenophobia by making him a heel was just a coincidence then, no?

I'm sure Vince McMahon doesn't care about the bad press he's getting. It gets attention for his company during a downtime, after all. But you'd think he would have learned his lesson after the Sgt. Slaughter thing 15 years ago, wouldn't you? That was a real money spinner, that was -- so much so that WrestleMania VII got moved from the 100,000-seater Los Angeles Coliseum to the 16,000-seat Sports Arena next door. From the way he was booked from the outset Hassan was never intended to put bums on seats, so the only explanation for his existence was to pander to trailer-trash ultra-nationalists.

But after tonight it'll be over, good riddance - na na nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye, and all that - and Vince will have to come up with something better. Like, I dunno, the Boogeyman?

SmackDown! Notes 22.07.05

- Rey Misterio and Super Crazy open the show with an entertaining, if a little strange, contest. Lots of lucha-style exchanges but with a methodical, almost plodding pace which reeked of management telling the pair to tone down their wrestling styles. And that's beside the fact that the bout played second fiddle to Rey Rey's feud with Eddie 'I used to be Eddy' Guerrero - who sat himself at ringside for most of the match, spouting nonsense to Tazz while the action went on sans commentary, and then rushed the ring to attack Misterio for a cheap ending.

- I'm pretty much bored with this silly 'secret' business by now; I hope the Bash this weekend will see the end of it.

- Eddie tries to leave the arena afterwards but Teddy Long isn't having any of it. He puts Eddie in a match against a 'mystery opponent' later on in the show.

- You know, I'm glad Teddy Long is still around. He's one of the last people still going strong from when I started watching wrestling back in the day.

- I'm ignoring the stupid JBL promos.

- Animal and Heidenreich squash a couple of jobbers in about 30 seconds. Ah, it's like Wrestling Challenge all over again...

- Eddie comes out for his match with... Chris Benoit! Revenge for One Night Stand, perhaps? Of course not - they didn't even mention it. Ironically, the match itself was just as unremarkable, especially by their usual standards. Sure, it might have been better than I thought, but I was tired, and it didn't exactly perk me up.

- Long story short: Benoit wins by count-out when Eddie abandons the match. Then Eddie gets blindsided by Misterio at the entrance area. I'm still yawning.

- Quote of the Week: "Now I respect you Booker, and I respect what you do in this ring. But what I don't respect is your wife Sharmell, and I don't respect the way that she goes to the buffet line not one, not twice, but five times! Five times! Five times!" Simon Dean, you saved this whole show for me.

- The rest doesn't even deserve commenting on, other than that bit where the censors bleeped Batista for saying 'act'... well that's what it sounded like to me, anyway.

Lord Alfred Hayes Passes Away

Another death in the wrestling world: Lord Alfred Hayes has passed away at the age of 77. Apparently of ill health for some time, it's still a surprise to know he's gone.

I remember Hayes from the last few years of his time in the WWF as a commentator, and from my video collection of early pay-per-views; not being a fan in the 80's (or living in America, for that matter) I never got to see his shenanigans on Tuesday Night Titans, and as a consequence he doesn't mean so much to me as he would to others. But still...

Earl Hebner Fired

The wrestling news sites are reporting that veteran WWE referee Earl Hebner has been fired for allegedly selling WWE merchandise without consent through a business co-owned with his twin brother Dave (a former referee himself who retired to work in the back office and, as it seems, has kept his job also been released).

Earl Hebner is notorious for his participation in two historic angles. The first was his debut back in 1988, as the 'evil twin' referee employed by Ted DiBiase to make sure Andre the Giant beat Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship (so he could buy the title from him, you see... ah, angles were so much more fun back in the day).

The second, of course, was the infamous Montreal Screwjob in 1997; Earl Hebner was the referee for that match and, though he was just the middleman, he did call for the bell to end the match and put the belt on Shawn Michaels - breaking a pledge to Bret Hart not to fuck him over.

To this day he never has refereed on another televised show in Quebec - and now it's likely he never will. So long, Earl. (And Dave, too.)

Raw Notes 19.07.05

- It's Shelton Benjamin versus Carlito in a rematch for the IC title. Last week Carlito got himself counted out to keep the belt, so this time the title can change hands by count-out too. What are the chances Carlito will get himself disqualified this week, hmmm?

- It's offensive, really, since Carlito is a much better wrestler than the booking would lead you to believe. And besides, this kind of thing runs out of steam after a couple of weeks, which is stupid because they have the makings for a long-running, entertaining feud here.

- Is it just me, or is Benjamin losing confidence in himself? He could be selling it as part of his character, but I swear every time he goes for a high-risk move, up to the top or using the ropes as a springboard, he loses his footing just a bit, falters slightly, takes a moment longer before he leaps as if he's afraid of slipping. I've noticed it ever since that blown spot a few weeks ago, just before Vengeance (which Carlito covered for admirably, all credit to him). I'm sure it's obvious to anyone who's watching for workrate. Maybe he just needs some more practice ring time to get over the mental hump, if that is what's going on.

- "He competes with reckless abandon ... that's his style." That's a barely-coded message from Jim Ross if there ever was one. Ross is a good mentor to the boys; I'm sure he's already had a friendly word in Benjamin's ear.

- Matt Striker - I mean, Matt Martel - returns for another shot at Kurt Angle's Olympic gold medal. And he takes Angle to the limit again, too. I know this is just the WWE making nicey-nice with the internet smarts, but it's still good to see a popular indie worker getting a little respect, however little that is.

- Fast-forwarding through the Raw Diva Search...

- Has Eric Bischoff found his long-lost twin brother? 'Cause looking at him and Chavo Guerrero - sorry, Kerwin White - standing together, I'd swear they were separated at birth.

- You know, besides the fact that he can't wrestle for shit, I really can't see the point of Chris Masters even existing as a character. Isn't it odd that the WWE would invest all that money - in terms of promos, music, pyro, airtime on Raw, etc. - in a gimmick which is essentially lost in limbo? He's sold as having a finishing move that's unstoppable, but if that's so then why is he only squashing low-to-mid-carders? Surely if it's so good he should be champion by now, right? And why has he only wrestled a handful of matches on TV in the four months since his debut?... Maybe because no one higher up the card will risk getting injured in the ring with him? (Everyone saw what happened to Stevie Richards. No one wants a broken orbital bone.) Or maybe because the WWE doesn't want to expose his inherent weakness as a worker? Tajiri might have been able to carry him last week, but Tajiri is the exception; I doubt anyone with a higher profile or more sway with management would be so accommodating. His confrontation with the Big Show just confirms all of this for me: Masters is all talk, but no action.

- Hulk Hogan answers Shawn Michaels' dastardly heel challenge for 'one more match' at SummerSlam. Yawn. Please forgive me for my lack of interest. I was at WrestleMania X-8; I was right there at SkyDome with 68,000 hosers for Hogan V Rock (see the photos if you don't believe me) and that should have been the last stand. I don't see this one living up to it in the slightest.

- It's Edge against Kane in a steel cage match - and surprise surprise! Matt Hardy attacks Edge outside the ring. While the 'security guards' hold him down he shoots on Johnny Ace, and Edge taunts him about going back to the indies. Funny that the commentary team still haven't mentioned his name on air...

- The cage match was pretty boring, by the way. I never bought Edge as a credible singles wrestler, he's just too goofy-looking.

- John Cena in a backstage interview with Maria; "Cena safari?" Pul-lease...

- I do like Maria, though. It takes some kind of skill to play ditzy that well.

- So the main event is a lumberjack match between Cena and Snitsky, the worst-named wrestler in history? (It's even worse than Buff Bagwell, which is saying something.) I'm sorry, I can't watch it. But [hits fast-forward till the end] since Cena won, we do get to see a 'battle of the bands' between him and Chris Jericho next week, which might be good for comedy value. I say might.

Everyone Was United

There's a great interview on by Keith Elliot Greenberg on WWE.com with former referee Dick Kroll, who may be the only official to work title matches for the big three (WWWF, NWA and AWA) in the same year.

It's a valuable window into a time when wrestling fans were really passionate about the sport, like Kroll's recounting of the 1972 Shea Stadium spectacle between Bruno Sammartino and Pedro Morales:

There was a lot of ethnic tension. When I walked through the parking lot before the match, the Italians recognized me and said, ‘Bruno better not lose.’ Then, the Puerto Ricans said, ‘Pedro better win.’ Fortunately, it was a draw. And when Bruno and Pedro hugged, and waved the American, Italian and Puerto Rican flags after the match, the tension went away. Everyone was united.

SmackDown! Notes 15.07.05

The first of a regular feature here, my running commentary of the WWE's weekly TV programmes, starting with this week's SmackDown!. Don't expect a recap; a lot of this won't make sense unless you watch the show yourself:

- Eddie Guerrero's wife says he's gone too far with the whole Rey Misterio thing. He's gone too far, alright - now he's a domestic abuser! No hope for him turning face any time soon, then...

- Let me get this straight. They fired Akio, but they kept Scotty 2 Hotty. Right.

- Juvi needs to practice that 450 splash a bit more; if I were Paul London I'd be mighty ticked off with him right now.

- Hardcore Holly = Ratings.

- What kind of a name is Hardcore Holly anyway? Sounds like a reject from GLOW or something...

- Did you catch Batista's promo? He's been working on his Grin of Death, I noticed.

- That thing Heidenreich does with his right arm... I wish he'd stop that.

- Wait, what's that music? "Oooooh what a rush!" It's Road Warrior... Animal! (I guess it pays to have a brother who's Vice President of Talent Relations, eh?)

- Johnny Nitro gets some major bad-taste points for that crack about Hawk. "His partner's dead!" indeed.

- Can you really make a whole match out of chops to the chest? I don't know, but Hardcore Holly was determined to try.

- "There's no give in this table!" That's right, Michael Cole, you keep on telling yourself that.

- Holly tapped out before Eddie even stepped over to lock in the cloverleaf. Either he was punking him out for real, or he really is a fucking wimp.

- Close-up of Eddie. Has he got a cold sore?

- Nice vignette for the Boogeyman. Reminds me of Papa Shango. Scary. (Hey, I was 12! That shit was scary then!)

- It's just a shame I know he's really the guy who was kicked out of Tough Enough for lying about his age. Doesn't seem so scary now.

- That Booker T/Christian match was a bit of a rip-off. Would've made for a great main event, but instead we've got...

- Batista versus Orlando Jordan. Excuse me while I fix myself a snack.

- [Five minutes later] Over already? That was quick. Ah, I know why - they cut out the Muhammad Hassan angle again. For the better, I say.

Bad Press Over Muhammad Hassan

The WWE seems pretty happy with all the negative publicity surrounding the Muhammad Hassan affair last Thursday.

Luckily for us viewers outside of the US, the segment - in which Hassan was assisted by a group of masked 'terrorists' in attacking the Undertaker - was edited from the edition of SmackDown! that was shown here on Friday night, due to the bombings in London the day before. However in the US it was broadcast - and on the day of the bombings, no less.

Even though the segment was conceived of and filmed before the bombings took place (SmackDown! is taped on Tuesdays) it's bad form for the WWE to exploit the situation for the sake of press coverage. And it's equally bad taste to make it a work, like they've done by posting Hassan's response.

Even besides the fact that the guy playing Hassan isn't even an Arab, the whole thing is too cheap and nasty for me. It smacks of pandering to the base prejudices of trailer-trash hicks, and makes me want to switch off.

Expenses Controversy For The Great Sasuke

Mainichi Daily News reports that The Great Sasuke - masked wrestler, promoter, and Japanese assembly member - has been accused of using taxpayers' money to cover his travel expenses for a wrestling event.

The man himself proclaims his innocence. "I studied the differences in specifications between the Tohoku and Akita Shinkansen lines and how passengers are using the lines," he said. "I also inspected station buildings. I did nothing wrong, so I reported it."

Whatever he did, and whatever the moral implications, you can't really fault him there. Besides, he is a politician - they're supposed to fudge the facts and use a little spin, it's what they do - and the amount claimed is the equivalent of a measly €70. (In an expensive country like Japan, it's probably worth even less than that.)

This isn't the first time Sasuke has been involved in controversy. A couple of years ago he was alleged to have starred in a porn movie (never proven to be true), and after his election to public office got into trouble with senior politicians for vowing not to remove his mask in session. Seems like a fun guy, I must say.

On a barely related note, WWE fans might remember Sasuke from his stint in the federation in the summer of 1997, when he came in on a wave of publicity only to have his thunder stolen by TAKA Michinoku, and disappeared quickly after. (However the two did have a couple of classic matches that are still remembered fondly today... at least I remember them.)

The Internet Reacts to Hardy's Return

Here's a long update on the situation from InsidePulse with plenty of quotes from IWC bigshots. And amazingly, I actually agree with Scott Keith:

Thank god for the Matt Hardy angle, because it finally gives me something to sink my teeth into as a fan and makes me want to watch and see what happens next. That's a feeling that's been lacking for a long time.

Hear, hear!

Shinya Hashimoto, 1965-2005

The Japanese wrestling industry is mourning the loss of Shinya Hashimoto, who died of a suspected brain aneurysm on Monday. He was only 40.

Regarded as the 'Japanese Elvis' by fans due to his vague resemblance to The King, Hashimoto was a mainstay of New Japan Pro Wrestling throughout the '90s, winning the IWGP championship, and co-founded the ZERO-ONE promotion with Shinjiro Otani a few years ago. He also competed outside of Japan, wrestling for Stu Hart's Stampede territory and independents in the States in the late 1980s, while some might remember him as Hiroshi Hase's partner in the NWA Tag Team title tournament at the 1992 Great American Bash.

Hashimoto became a free agent last year after a squabble with ZERO-ONE, and was apparently planning a return to New Japan after recovering from shoulder surgery. While his death is a shock, it has emerged that he was under a lot of stress in recent months, and his family has a history of cerebral haemmoraging.

Slam! Wrestling has more on the story, while Puroresu Power has reviewed the Japanese press' reaction and posted a special Power Hour tribute show (large file; there's a stream available for dial-up users). There's also a piece by David Ditch at InsidePulse on why Hashimoto earned the tag of 'legend' in the annals of puroresu.

On the Recent Roster Cuts

Last week World Wrestling Entertainment announced the release of a number of superstars from their contracts. As you can imagine, it was quite a jolt to the locker-room morale to see that many go at once.

This roster pruning is becoming something of an annual event, and while it does clear valuable space for new stars to come up from the developmental territories like Ohio Valley Wrestling, it usually leaves at least one worthy competitor who hasn't been given a chance getting cut before he can prove himself.

Some of the names on this summer's list probably won't be missed too much (Mark Jindrak and Matt Morgan are pretty forgettable; the Dudleys' time is up, and Spike is reported to have a catalogue of injuries; and it seems Marty Jannetty had a spot of trouble with the law before his development stint even started) and others were to be expected (Jim Cornette's too old-school and knowledgeable for the failed sit-com writers in creative today) but a few are a genuine surprise.

Take Maven. While never setting the world on fire since winning his contract at the first Tough Enough, he was never really given a chance to shine or improve himself. His short-lived program with Shelton Benjamin proved that creative had little confidence in him, even though he was getting over as a heel. I might not have cared if he was cut while still a babyface, but now it's a shame to see him go.

The same goes for Billy Kidman and Akio. Surely if you start adding to the cruiserweight division - like they've done by hiring Super Crazy, Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera - it doesn't make sense to fire guys who could have some five-star matches with the new recruits. Kidman, and Akio especially, didn't have the most charismatic characters - but most of the fault for that lies with creative, not them. Letting them go was a dumb move in my opinion. (Maybe they were jealous of Akio's corkscrew moonsault. Who knows?)

It's the last we'll see of them for the time being. But the WWE has been known to change its mind and take people back, with a little persuading.

Matt Hardy: Work or Shoot?

It was a work, obviously. But a beautifully-executed one.

If you didn't see it already, Matt Hardy returned to the WWE on last night's Raw, attacking Edge and Lita backstage and then later in the ring after Edge's match with Kane. In the latter melee Hardy managed to grab a mic and cut a short shoot promo (with a plug for Ring of Honor, too) before he was grabbed by gang of security and road agents, handcuffed and 'ejected from the building'. It was breathtaking, the stuff of smarts' dreams. It was wrestling gone real.

And it was brilliantly planned. They had the wool pulled right over the eyes of the Internet Wrestling Community. You can ignore all the heads proclaiming they knew it all along - I guarantee you that no one saw this coming. As soon as they saw Matt Hardy run in from out of nowhere, the first thought on their minds was 'shoot'. And that's the beauty of it.

Of course, upon closer scrutiny the ruse begins to crumble. (I mean, if it was really a shoot then why did the camera stay on Hardy? And why did they drag him up the ramp to the back when throwing him out the front door would have been easier?) But the veil of kayfabe is always a thin one, dependent on the suspension of disbelief. And to the WWE's credit, my disbelief was very much suspended.

(It's a bonus that the rest of the show was above average, too: Roddy Piper got a big pop, and a kick in the face from the heel Shawn Michaels; Carlito had a great match with Shelton Benjamin that ended cheaply; while Tajiri showed just how valuable he is by carrying Chris Masters for their entire match before putting him over. So well done, WWE. It's almost enough to make me forgive you for the Mexicools. Only almost, though.)

But you know what else is perfect about this Matt Hardy angle? It works even for those who don't know what happened behind the scenes.

Think about it: the last time Hardy was on screen was when Lita 'married' Kane. In his time away Hardy was distraught, a feeling that changed to anger seeing how Lita turned on him and embraced Kane as her husband. His rage grew stronger as she turned her affections to Edge, who was supposed to be his friend. It was all too much for him, and he had to get his revenge... and I gleaned all of that just from the on-screen storylines.

See? It's perfect! But I hope the writers and the bookers can play it out without dropping the ball.

The Ground Rules

Before I get this blog going in earnest, a few caveats:

- This is an entirely personal endeavour. I'm not pretending to be a source of news or original journalism (though some might appear from time to time). This is first and foremost a place for me to yammer about an industry that interests me. If I'm talking to myself, that's fine by me.

- My comment will be overwhelmingly weighted towards World Wrestling Entertainment - not because of any aversion to other wrestling companies, but simply because WWE is the only wrestling I see on TV on a regular basis. I don't yet have The Wrestling Channel, so the current happenings of NWA:TNA and the Japanese leagues are pretty much unavailable to me outside of what I read in magazines or on the web (and I don't have the time to tape trade or the money to spend on bootlegs, however much I'd like to).

- From time to time I might also post about the UFC and mixed martial arts - mainly because it's interesting to me, and there's an evident crossover with wrestling in terms of its audience despite the inherent differences. When it comes to wrestling I'm no puritan.

- I may link to definitions of terms or phrases that might seem obvious to those 'in the know', but I'm no elitist. They might prove helpful to someone who's new to the game and just happens to stumble on this site.

- Comments are very welcome, but only if they're relevant to the particular post or discussion. Anything else will be removed at my discretion. It's my site, I'm the referee and my decision is final.

These rules may be added to or modified as I see fit. Just so we're clear.

Why I'm Still A Fan

I'm starting this blog at a strange time for pro wrestling, and especially for myself as a fan. Because frankly, I'm sick of it.

I started watching the World Wrestling Federation about 15 years ago, WCW soon after, and then a little later kept track of the Japanese promotions and the US indie scene through magazines like Pro Wrestling Illustrated. I started watching, and kept watching, during a time when wrestling was definitely not cool.

I was there for the last gasps of Hulkamania; I read with awe about the birth of 'extreme' in Philadelphia, and the revolution that was the New World Order; I stuck out the blandness of the mid-90s for the dawn of the 'Attiude' era, when suddenly it was cool to admit to being a fan. And I'm just about hanging on now, as the 'sport' languishes in the doldrums.

I look back on the early years now and I cringe at how bad some of it was. But the stories were gripping, the build-ups to the major shows were meticulous, and the end result was generally more satisfying than what we're served with today.

I keep watching, week after week. I watch with hope despite myself, waiting for that special something to make me jump out of my seat. But, barring the odd exception, it never comes.

I long for the theatre and excitement, and the top-class skill and athleticism that drew me to wrestling in the first place. What I get are openly racist gimmicks like Kerwin White or Muhammad Hassan or The Mexicools, or reckless, characterless, muscle-bound freaks who'll be physical wrecks before you can say 'Superstar Billy Graham'.

I still watch, but I find myself fast-forwarding through most of the shows, bored by the tired angles written by washed-up soap writers who've never watched wrestling a day of their lives; bored by the bland, repetitive ring-work; and insulted by the lack of respect for the fans, the people who pay their salaries. It's almost like I'm watching out of obligation, like a chore.

Frankly, I'm sick of it.

Yet one Sunday this past June, in the middle of the night, during ECW's One Night Stand, I remembered why I used to love wrestling so much -- and why I still do, in spite of it all. It's because it was fun.

There were no politics, there was no bullshit. Just an incredible atmosphere, some old-school angles, and kick-ass wrestling. They went out there and they put on a show for the fans, and it was great fun. No matter how the WWE contingent tried to ruin it, they couldn't dampen the spirit of fun felt by each and every fan in attendance, and doubtless each and every person who watched the show at home.

Watching ECW come back to life for that one night was an invigorating experience for me for another reason. I'd never really seen ECW wrestling before a few weeks ago, when my copy of The Rise + Fall of ECW arrived in the post. But after reading about it online and in the pages of Power Slam for over a decade - left out in the proverbial cold - getting a chance to relive the last 10 years with that incredible documentary, and then watching One Night Stand live in the wee hours, made me feel like I was finally invited to the party.

And it also reminded me that there is still a world beyond Vince McMahon's vision of wrestling. There's still a flourishing indie scene in the States, a rapidly growing one in the UK (and even here in Ireland). Japanese wrestling is still producing excellent performers, and lucha libre is enjoying a resurgence in Mexico.

They say that pro wrestling is a cyclical business. I'm starting this blog with the hope that the downturn is making way for the upswing.

I'll be commenting on notable happenings in wrestling all over the world, the good and the bad. I'll be reviewing the major events, both those to come and those of times past. I'll be critiquing the weekly shows, calling it like I see it.

And I'll be doing it all through the perspective of someone who just can't help being a wrestling fan. It's in my blood.